Category Archives: Uncategorized

God, Were You There When #MeToo?

God, were you there when she said no? Were you there when she looked away, pulled away, and then quickly tried to push away from her mind what just happened? 

God, were you there when he insisted it was okay? Were you there when he did it, anyway?

God, were you there when it happened in the church? Were you there when the sacred space became unsafe? 

God, were you there when she cried because what he did hurt so bad? Were you there in those moments of shame, humiliation, self-blame and fear? 

God, were you there in the silence when she didn’t believe she could tell? Were you there in her worries about the next time and what she could do to avoid another violation of her sacred self? 

God, were you there to see and hear all of the cries of #MeToo? Do you weep with us who weep and mourn with us who mourn all the little deaths as our humanity continues to be harassed and assaulted? 

God, were you there when she typed the hashtag and the letters “m-e-t-o-o”? Were you there when another sister could not (for her own valid reasons)? Were you there in the testimony? Were you there in the truth?

God of Hagar and Tamar, we confess the Church’s role in systems that contribute to a culture of violence against women. We confess that too often religious leaders have abused their power and harmed women in the Church. We confess that the Church is in need of repair, reformation, and redemption. 

God of Resurrection, we trust in the power of your love. We ask that you would pour out your divine love into all who suffer from sexual harassment and assault. 

God, stir within those who have inflicted harm a deep sense of remorse and willingness to make amends. God, help us.

God, help make #MeToo to be a Pentecost moment for the Church. Help us to hear your truth in the many voices rising up. Let this truth reform us, remake us, and redeem us. 

God, if you were there…then you were inside each one of us as our heartbeats quickened from unholy terror and we breathed our way through each horrifying moment by moment. And you are with us now. You are in this movement. Breathe into us your Spirit of Love. Breathe into us healing fire. Amen. #MeToo

(Inspired by the many stories being publicly shared) 

10 Things We Know About Mental Illness 

It’s the third birthday of Blessed are the Crazy: Breaking the Silence About Mental Illness, Family and Church. To celebrate I am sharing 10 things I’ve learned along the way since the publication of the book on September 30, 2014. 

10. Mental Illness is stubborn.       It takes an average of 10 years for a person to seek professional help from the onset of symptoms and even then, only half of us who have symptoms seek professional help. Causes for this long delay in treatment (or lack of mental health treatment) range from denial to shame to fear to lack of awareness to lack of affordable healthcare to lack of mental health resources to lack of access to care. The truth is that mental illness as a brain disease can do a lot of damage before it is recognized and treated. It’s also true that we can be in recovery from mental illness and live full, abundant lives. 

9. Kids suffer from mental illness. This is the hard reality that I didn’t like hearing. At a conference a presenter who is an expert in pediatric psychology shared that symptoms of mental illness can be observed as young as age zero. Let that sink in. More and more children are expericing symptoms of mental illness. The fastest rate of growth for suicide is among young girls ages 8-11. There are not enough beds in pediatric psychiatric care centers. There are months long waiting lists to see therapists that work with kids.  

8. Anosognosia. I learned this word in a church basement in Columbus, Ohio. A mother and father shared their journey with their young adult son who lives with schizophrenia. He is unaware of his own mental illness–he has anosognosia–nd so he resists mental health treatment because he does not believe he has an illness, even though his symptoms are severe. Speaking from personal experience, it is terribly painful to love someone who has mental illness and their symptom prohibits them from self-awareness. My father died 10 years ago and he had anosognosia.I think that’s what killed him because he refused to get help.

7. People of Color. As a person with the multiple dimensions of privilege (white skin, cis-gender, graduate level education, and middle-class), I have built-in advantages when it comes to navigating the mental healthcare system.  For POC, because of systemic white supremacy, there are serious barriers to getting preventative mental healthcare, treatment and recovery. 

6. LGBTQ. We know that the highest rate of suicide is among trans teenagers, and among this group, those who are POC. Suicide is not the result of a person choosing to die. Suicide, as one survivor shared, is an attempt to “make the pain stop.” We are all responsible for creating communities that address the real pain felt and experienced by people who are LGBTQ, and as much as is in our power, to show nothing but love and respect. 

5. Most Churches are Silent. There remains a great need for communities of faith to break the silence about mental illness. When the church is silent about mental illness, a reality that directly impacts one out of every four people, the church fails to live the gospel. It is a sin to be silent. The devil loves our silence because that’s how he wins. Let love win. Break the silence. 

4. Blessed are the Crazy. I’ve spoken to why I chose this title many times and each time I say, yes, that’s what it’s called. It’s so true to me and my story. As a personal testimony it works for me. Now, if I were writing an essay for a professional medical journal, maybe not. However, for reaching the audience that I have had the tremendous pleasure and privilege to engage with these past three years, it’s been right.

3. Gratitude. I cannot thank you enough for joining me on this journey. For the thousands of conversations, questions, stories, tears, laughter, insights, and deep connections, I am filled with gratitude. I could not have ever imagined that breaking open my story would have brought us together in such beauty and love. Thank you, for in this holy sharing there is healing. The work continues.

2. Mental Illness is Real. Our bodies get sick and our physical organs can become diseased: the heart, the lungs, and the brain. Many types of mental illness, including the most severe are brain diseases. We would never say to a person with diabetes or heart disease to stop taking their medications. Mental illness is a physical illness and people who have it deserve respect, excellent healthcare and great compassion.

1. Hope is Real and Contagious. We can easily be overwhelmed with the suffering caused by mental illness. We know that a majority of people who live in the streets and who are incarcerated are people with untreated mental illness. The good news is that mental illness can be prevented (in many cases), treated and people can experience a life of recovery. We must not lose hope that abundant life is possible for all of us. We must not let go of hope. We must hold onto hope for one another. 

The Hurricane Within 

For people with mental health challenges, living in the path of a major hurricane can create an equally devastating hurricane within. Anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder already elevate ones vulnerability in times of stress. Then add an oncoming category five or four hurricane to the mix and imagine tripling the feelings of terror and dread. 

We think about evacuating or putting up shutters. We plan to buy more water, more batteries and hunker down. Maybe we also buy more medication. But what about people who do not have access to medication or who can not afford these things? And how do you prepare your mind for a hurricane and the whirling storm within?

While living in Florida for nine years, I learned about “hurricane parties” that bring people together so that people are not waiting it out alone. This helps. Being alone with the anxiety and fear can elevated already intense emotions. Now is the time to reach out to one another.   This is especially important for people living with a mental health challenge. 

I’ve been on the phone with my two brothers and sister, all who either evacuated Florida or are hunkering down. We talked about the emotional stress and anxiety that this hurricane triggers. It’s all the uncertainty of the path, the pending destruction and damage, the second guessing of choices (should I stay or go?), the feeling of helplessness, and the ultimate fear of the unknown. For my brother who lives with bipolar disorder, this hurricane is not just out there…it’s inside, too. And I find it making its way into me, even though I live in the “crossroads of America.”

Let’s make a promise: as much as possible, we will not let our sisters and brothers experience this or any other hurricane alone. Something happens to the inner hurricane when it is accompanied by a loved one, a caring friend, a neighbor or a Good Samaritan. The speed of the stress thinking slows and the heart rate calms and the spinning mind begins to settle some. 

Take a moment now to reach out any way that you can to one another. For we all have a hurricane within, some are category five, some four, some lesser level threes, some two or level one and some are tropical storms, not as intense. Just some wind and rain. But we all know the feeling of being overwhelmed by a strange and unwelcome stirring within that we wish we could stop. We need help.

What we can stop is the fear of being unloved. We can show our love and care by expressing them now. Do not wait. The hurricane is coming. We can prepare our minds and hearts. We can love one another. This is what we do as a human family. This is who we are when looking into the eye of the hurricane. Instead of closing our eyes, we open them and we gaze upon each other with love.